What a riot of affection, exasperation, sibling mythology, and hard won self making! You move through it with that your trademark mix of wit, vulnerability, and razor sharp observation, turning family chaos, uneven childhood terrain, and the great cosmic joke of sibling comparison into something tender, hilarious, and unexpectedly moving.
The way you sketch your brother’s "golden child" glow against your own scrappy, self inventing path is both biting and loving, and the humour never hides the ache ... it just makes the truth land softer. By the end, what stays with me most is the unmistakable warmth between you both, that strange alchemy only siblings can create ... where rivalry and devotion sit side by side and somehow make each other shine.
Wonderful, Lani, as always! Thank you for sharing so much of yourself here on the page. 🙏💖
Now, this is one of those instances where I don’t see what you see, but I feel better for it. 🙂 I grew up jealous of my younger brother ~ of course, by now, I’ve thankfully gotten over myself. Sibling relationships are complex, but I’m reminded that they evolve and grow and do its own thing through the ages. It took getting older to realize that. Thanks, Deborah, as always. Hugs!
Wow. I identify soooo much with your upbringing. Crazy. The undereducated mom, the military dad, the sibling jealousy, the competitiveness. I still can't use a knife properly! I mean my grandmom, Bebe, ate with her fingers…jasmine rice, everything! Thanks for this.
This made me happy, too, even though I didn't have a sibling. It's good that you and your brother can still communicate, even if you chose totally different paths. All are valid and admirable. I recall community college as being one of the best experiences I had in higher education and a time to learn why I should learn, as well as a time to take in all that I didn't get in high school. It's wonderful you got to go to college where you wanted to--not where you were expected to go--and that it was a good experience for you. That's the way it should be.
Thanks, Carole. 🤗 Community college is 100% underrated. I’d rather teach there than a big university or state school. My husband and I fondly recall our cc experiences, too. And I never thought about that before ~ I did choose a school I wanted to go to, rather than anyone else's expectations, so good on you for pointing that out! 😇
CC is a best-kept secret. My mom taught at one for many years, so I got to go there for free. I avoided two years of student loans that way, I could go to work with my mom, and I also got a little job there in the Student Activities office. CC teachers aren’t under all that pressure to write scholarly papers, so they can enjoy teaching as their main job. They get to know their students because they don’t end up pawning off all their work to a grad student. It’s also a great transition from sheltered high school to the big university. I have only great memories of those two years.
Nice. I did work-study when I went to college. Worked at the computer labs, such fond memories from there, too. And yes to the costs 🙌and joining your mom at work!
Another wonderfully funny, but also poignant post. Siblings! Oh my. My older brother and I used to fight like cats and dogs as kids. We still revert to type in some ways when we are together, but at least we can hold a conversation.
Greetings Lani, you’re genuinely funny and at the same time a serious beautiful woman and a talented writer! I know bongs from back in the day, Colorado was one of the first states to legalize cannabis, I gathered signatures for it to be put on the ballot 🤣 me still a hippie in Colorful Colorado! Love ya, Geraldine
😅 Thanks, Geraldine. Colorado was where I really found my weed crowd (not Hawaii strangely enough) 🥬and what fond memories they were! 😁I think Hawaii was too close for comfort, although, later this changed. California is not be outdone either 🥳I am glad that States have legalized it; still don’t get how alcohol is legal but weed isn’t. But what do I know!
I'm afraid not all of us Brits are very skilled with a steak knife, Lani! Thank you for another great tale, tender and revealing and funny. A rare combination, tough to achieve.
Oh gosh, I identified with so much of this. My Mom's not an Asian immigrant, but she has made little effort to hide her preference for my brother. I didn't have to worry about college or grad school tuition, but I had to teach myself empathy and basic social skills.
Did Larry go to Princeton? Rutgers? (You can tell I don't know much about NJ).
I’m sorry about that Moorea. For my mom, I think it’s a cultural thing, ingrained, something that isn’t noticed until pointed out. He went to the latter, and you know more than me, I didn’t know Princeton was in NJ! 🙂
Anyone who has a brother (I have 2, much, much older than myself) will relate to this!
Many things here made me laugh esp the drumming circle comment - and we can see that Larry really IS clever, just like you. I enjoyed the bit that he is different when you are around.
OH, he’s funny and clever ~ annoying, really. 🙄 He’s the mature one, too, so you’d think the birth order was reversed! And we’re learning more about Sue, 2 much older brothers…hmmm. Thanks, Sue! 🙂🙏
Yes! They're 11 and 12 years older than me, respectively. Very like having 3 dads in some ways. I was in kindergarten when my eldest bro was in university ...!
Hi Lani, you had me laughing from the beginning … and in the end a sentimental tear, with your sister in law’s comment about making Larry “happy”. My relationship with my 2 and a half year older sister has a similar thread of us being different people until we are together… same glue, that same humour, no doubt related to our family dynamics growing up. Thankfully, we often laugh too, re telling stories about our parents. Our lives too, took different paths. I so love your reading … it really offers the reader/listener another aspect of you that may not otherwise be noticed without it … about you and your context. Fabulous, thank you 🙏❤️😊
OH good. My heart is happy when I hear that I make folks laugh through the 'ol writing. 🙏Siblings are truly a whole other animal ~ another storyline with its ebbs and flows. I'm glad to hear you have a good relationship with them. Thanks, Simone. It's a truly special journey to connect with you and others through our writing. 😘💗
Hi Lani, I loved reading this one. I know I’ve been so tied up with my own writing that I rarely comment but you write so well and with style, humour and honesty. This account of your relationship or lack of it with your mum and favoured sibling is one I’m sure many will identify with in some way. You may not have felt like a princess but you are a queen with your writing. Carolyn x
Awww shucks, Carolyn. Thanks for commenting. I know you’ve been busy; it’s been gratifying to see your success and adventures on FB. 🙂 And I suppose you’re right, sibling “rivalries” are as old as time. 😅 xo
What a riot of affection, exasperation, sibling mythology, and hard won self making! You move through it with that your trademark mix of wit, vulnerability, and razor sharp observation, turning family chaos, uneven childhood terrain, and the great cosmic joke of sibling comparison into something tender, hilarious, and unexpectedly moving.
The way you sketch your brother’s "golden child" glow against your own scrappy, self inventing path is both biting and loving, and the humour never hides the ache ... it just makes the truth land softer. By the end, what stays with me most is the unmistakable warmth between you both, that strange alchemy only siblings can create ... where rivalry and devotion sit side by side and somehow make each other shine.
Wonderful, Lani, as always! Thank you for sharing so much of yourself here on the page. 🙏💖
Now, this is one of those instances where I don’t see what you see, but I feel better for it. 🙂 I grew up jealous of my younger brother ~ of course, by now, I’ve thankfully gotten over myself. Sibling relationships are complex, but I’m reminded that they evolve and grow and do its own thing through the ages. It took getting older to realize that. Thanks, Deborah, as always. Hugs!
I enjoy hearing you read your stories and love your sense of humor.
🙂Thank you, Tina!
Gosh sibling relationships are so complicated and you really bring that out here! loved reading this.
Thank you, Marika! Appreciate it. 🙂
Wow. I identify soooo much with your upbringing. Crazy. The undereducated mom, the military dad, the sibling jealousy, the competitiveness. I still can't use a knife properly! I mean my grandmom, Bebe, ate with her fingers…jasmine rice, everything! Thanks for this.
That’s what I’m sayin’ Starina ~ we have a lot in common and you confirmed it again. 😁🥳Funny about the knife. We need lessons. 😂
This made me happy, too, even though I didn't have a sibling. It's good that you and your brother can still communicate, even if you chose totally different paths. All are valid and admirable. I recall community college as being one of the best experiences I had in higher education and a time to learn why I should learn, as well as a time to take in all that I didn't get in high school. It's wonderful you got to go to college where you wanted to--not where you were expected to go--and that it was a good experience for you. That's the way it should be.
Thanks, Carole. 🤗 Community college is 100% underrated. I’d rather teach there than a big university or state school. My husband and I fondly recall our cc experiences, too. And I never thought about that before ~ I did choose a school I wanted to go to, rather than anyone else's expectations, so good on you for pointing that out! 😇
CC is a best-kept secret. My mom taught at one for many years, so I got to go there for free. I avoided two years of student loans that way, I could go to work with my mom, and I also got a little job there in the Student Activities office. CC teachers aren’t under all that pressure to write scholarly papers, so they can enjoy teaching as their main job. They get to know their students because they don’t end up pawning off all their work to a grad student. It’s also a great transition from sheltered high school to the big university. I have only great memories of those two years.
Nice. I did work-study when I went to college. Worked at the computer labs, such fond memories from there, too. And yes to the costs 🙌and joining your mom at work!
Another wonderfully funny, but also poignant post. Siblings! Oh my. My older brother and I used to fight like cats and dogs as kids. We still revert to type in some ways when we are together, but at least we can hold a conversation.
😅😅 Glad to hear it, Sarah. And thank you! 🤗
Greetings Lani, you’re genuinely funny and at the same time a serious beautiful woman and a talented writer! I know bongs from back in the day, Colorado was one of the first states to legalize cannabis, I gathered signatures for it to be put on the ballot 🤣 me still a hippie in Colorful Colorado! Love ya, Geraldine
P.S. and a full moon drum circle queen 😘
😅 Thanks, Geraldine. Colorado was where I really found my weed crowd (not Hawaii strangely enough) 🥬and what fond memories they were! 😁I think Hawaii was too close for comfort, although, later this changed. California is not be outdone either 🥳I am glad that States have legalized it; still don’t get how alcohol is legal but weed isn’t. But what do I know!
P.S. Love it! 🌻
I'm afraid not all of us Brits are very skilled with a steak knife, Lani! Thank you for another great tale, tender and revealing and funny. A rare combination, tough to achieve.
Thank you so much, Jeffrey, for letting me know that not all Brits are brilliant with cutlery 😅 But seriously, I appreciate your words!
Oh gosh, I identified with so much of this. My Mom's not an Asian immigrant, but she has made little effort to hide her preference for my brother. I didn't have to worry about college or grad school tuition, but I had to teach myself empathy and basic social skills.
Did Larry go to Princeton? Rutgers? (You can tell I don't know much about NJ).
I’m sorry about that Moorea. For my mom, I think it’s a cultural thing, ingrained, something that isn’t noticed until pointed out. He went to the latter, and you know more than me, I didn’t know Princeton was in NJ! 🙂
Anyone who has a brother (I have 2, much, much older than myself) will relate to this!
Many things here made me laugh esp the drumming circle comment - and we can see that Larry really IS clever, just like you. I enjoyed the bit that he is different when you are around.
That shared past thing? Very real. Thanks Lani!
OH, he’s funny and clever ~ annoying, really. 🙄 He’s the mature one, too, so you’d think the birth order was reversed! And we’re learning more about Sue, 2 much older brothers…hmmm. Thanks, Sue! 🙂🙏
Yes! They're 11 and 12 years older than me, respectively. Very like having 3 dads in some ways. I was in kindergarten when my eldest bro was in university ...!
No essays as of yet not that they would likely even read them lol. It's complicated 😆
Holy cannoli! Were you …an unexpected bundle of joy then? Have you written about them? I’d be curious if you could point me to an essay or two. 🙂
If it’s any consolation- your stories always make me happy Lani
With gratitude, Steve, my thanks. 🙏🙂
Hi Lani, you had me laughing from the beginning … and in the end a sentimental tear, with your sister in law’s comment about making Larry “happy”. My relationship with my 2 and a half year older sister has a similar thread of us being different people until we are together… same glue, that same humour, no doubt related to our family dynamics growing up. Thankfully, we often laugh too, re telling stories about our parents. Our lives too, took different paths. I so love your reading … it really offers the reader/listener another aspect of you that may not otherwise be noticed without it … about you and your context. Fabulous, thank you 🙏❤️😊
OH good. My heart is happy when I hear that I make folks laugh through the 'ol writing. 🙏Siblings are truly a whole other animal ~ another storyline with its ebbs and flows. I'm glad to hear you have a good relationship with them. Thanks, Simone. It's a truly special journey to connect with you and others through our writing. 😘💗
It is a special journey, thank you too Lani. Seriously, you had me laugh out loud 🤣🙏💜. Siblings are ‘another animal’, hilarious 😆
“You make him happy.”
That pretty much sums it up.
I bet he makes you happy too, Lani!
This was written a while ago, we all get so busy, gosh, I hope so. I truly do. Thanks, Yi.
And I meant "I bet he makes you happy too!" ♥️
Hi Lani, I loved reading this one. I know I’ve been so tied up with my own writing that I rarely comment but you write so well and with style, humour and honesty. This account of your relationship or lack of it with your mum and favoured sibling is one I’m sure many will identify with in some way. You may not have felt like a princess but you are a queen with your writing. Carolyn x
Awww shucks, Carolyn. Thanks for commenting. I know you’ve been busy; it’s been gratifying to see your success and adventures on FB. 🙂 And I suppose you’re right, sibling “rivalries” are as old as time. 😅 xo
Thank you, William!