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Rebecca Moon Ruark's avatar

I can't tell you how much I love this story! Your beautiful parents--oh, that photo!--are my heroes too. Can't wait to read more!

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Lani V. Cox's avatar

For someone as well read and reflective as you, I appreciate this, xo

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Simone Senisin's avatar

Hi Lani, What a great story, integrity and courage with your parents, putting their faith in each other. I thought you were going to be born mid flight for a minute. 😊🙏

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Lani V. Cox's avatar

Heh, heh. Thanks! No, I’m grateful to have been born in a hospital, on land!

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Sue Sutherland-Wood's avatar

Every time I read one of these instalments, Lani, I am struck again by the things that your mum has gone through. You really bring her (very colourful!) personality to the fore for the reader. It must be interesting for you to see what an interesting combo of the two of them you are, as we all are I suppose.

It's also brave of you to seek out other family members for clarification too - in my experience of this, I have been regarded as extremely eccentric (or just weird lol) and puzzled stares about why the past is even important? (Apparently, they have not heard of the nice people who started Ancestry.com haha)

You must have been on an introspective train ride writing all this - I remain impressed.

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Lani V. Cox's avatar

Thank you, Sue. Perhaps this is why I have felt compelled to share her story (my dad, too, of course), but I’ve been at a dead end for years since there was a break from the Chinese side. Oh, you know, family has to ‘take sides’ over issues, and my mom had to choose her mother-in-law.

What I’ve learned through all of this (and more) is that folks are not as open-minded as they claim to be. And I’ve accepted this because what else can you do? Nevertheless, I’m grateful my brother did DNA testing years ago to confirm (and reveal!) some fun stuff! I wish everyone could do it! Have you gone down the ancestry/family lines?

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Unha Engels's avatar

I loved this. It must’ve felt really nice for her to share the real beginning. Sweet to see the first born and mom connecting on a truth level. Thank you for sharing! Loved how you handled all the dialogues in the piece.

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Lani V. Cox's avatar

Thank you, that means a lot, since I recreated them! And yes to mother-daughter relationships ~ not always easy, but with some deeply rewarding moments if we're open to it, xo

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Yi Xue's avatar

How incredibly sweet, in their own way!

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Lani V. Cox's avatar

Thanks, Yi. xo

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Jeffrey Streeter's avatar

There's a lot of courage in this beautiful story—in the telling and in the way your parents faced up to their challenges. Inspiring!

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Lani V. Cox's avatar

Thanks, Jeffrey. I tried to be sensitive, but also honest. I appreciate your thoughts!

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Veronika Bond's avatar

Incredible story, Lani! Bless them both. Parents (I mean couples) can make life so complicated for themselves and each other... what a relief (for you and your mom especially) that it all worked out and your dad was the hero you both needed.

I love the way you have filled in the gaps from the snippets of your mom's memory you managed to snatch. xxx

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Lani V. Cox's avatar

Thanks so much for noticing that, Veronika! ❤️I think this is part of the tricky bits of memoir, when telling someone else's story, but reminding the reader that this is my perspective, too. Big hugs from Cambodia.

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Victoria's avatar

What a story, Lani! It's a testament to your detective work, your mother's bravery and your father's character. Thank you for sharing your origin story! xo

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Lani V. Cox's avatar

Thanks so much for your support, Victoria. I appreciate your reshares and comments! Much love, xo

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Victoria's avatar

You're very welcome. This series is a great read on many levels! Others need to know ;-)

Plus they're just the right length and well-constructed!

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Lani V. Cox's avatar

Thank you for the feedback. YAYYYYY!

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Victoria's avatar

I hope you're tracking how you're composing these memoir essays; it would be a helpful resource! Choices of what to include or not etc. xo

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Lani V. Cox's avatar

I'm rather bad at looking at analytics, so personal feedback is what I pay attention to. Thanks, Victoria.

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Jean's avatar

A wonderful story. Especially her stuffed bra. I don't have any details what it was like for my parents' first few days. My mother as mentioned ages ago, was a picture bride.

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Lani V. Cox's avatar

Thanks for reading along, Jean. Yes, I was obsessed with my parents' stories, and became interested in how other parents met, too! Even today, with couples, it can be a nice icebreaker.

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Jean's avatar

I only asked what it was like when she gave birth to me, her lst child (out of 6). After all new in Canada for only less than 18 months. My father visited her about 2 times since he had to hitch a car ride from someone with a car. He brought her cooked rice and some meat dish since she could barely eat the hospital food. She doesn't know English.

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Lani V. Cox's avatar

Rather remarkable what they went through, isn't it?

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Jan 23
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Lani V. Cox's avatar

Thanks, Maureen! 🙏🙏🙏

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