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Sarah Li-Cain's avatar

I love your work! Keep writing my friend!

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Lani V. Cox's avatar

Thanks, Sarah! xo

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Sarah Best's avatar

Great post, Lani and one that rings true for me too.

Frankly, I am sick of people posting on Notes about their follower/reader/subscriber numbers. The more that I see posts like that, I am reminded that 'the man' has won in a way and it's all about the growth rather than finding something meaningful in a person's work. In the early days of being here, it caused me to feel anxious (how do 'I' grow???). But now, it irritates me and I find that I am avoiding Notes more.

So keep writing, and also sharing pictures of your lunch! ☺️

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Lani V. Cox's avatar

Me, too. I hardly go on Notes. It's hella depressing to see that a photo of a cat, or some sort of amazing-me-stat gets SO much attention. As a result, I think it's natural to wonder if you're doing something wrong. Now, I think it's great to share accomplishments, but it needs to be done right! It's kind of like taking a photo of you picking up trash, you know what I mean?

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Sarah Best's avatar

Yeah I do. Unfortunately, as with all forms of social media, the likeability of posts/notes/whatever helps satisfy the part of our brains that are more susceptible to quick wins. I actually quite like how IG allows people to turn off the ‘likes’ count and I kinda wish that Substack would turn it off from Notes too (I feel a bit differently to actual posts).

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Lani V. Cox's avatar

Ah, right. I’d forgotten about that. FB, too, if I recall. Social has really tapped into our universal deep seated desire to be liked and accepted. And good idea for Notes!

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Sue Sutherland-Wood's avatar

Your lunch *does* look great though, it has to be said!

Such good advice here today - although I am struggling with being optimistic about the world just at the moment yet it's also so important not to sink.

I waver between feeling that Substack is a waste of my (writing) time and that I am hugely deficient amongst my Substack peers anyway (not a hat-round for compliments, honestly) and then feeling buoyed up, just like you say, by a comment that truly resonates. I do know that I am consistently grateful for the sense of community here - the only bit of social media that seems kind, at least in our sheltered writing corner!

And thank you for the shout out, Lani! You are kind. And who knew that a cat's bottom would "garner so many likes" lol!

P.S. Yet, this is how spiritually deep my writing can be, lol

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Lani V. Cox's avatar

The thing about Substack is yes, there is a nice community, but at the end of the day, they’re still people. I’m struck by how many do not reciprocate comments, or who are not curious about who you are. There are a myriad of reasons why, but I do sense competitiveness.

So, I’ve told myself to not take it too seriously. This is another reason I feel deeply appreciative when I do make connections because for whatever reason, not everyone resonates with what I write and vice versa. You are a fantastic writer, so I love that you read (and like) what I have to say. xxoo

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Sue Sutherland-Wood's avatar

I am always surprised by how very few people actually press the 'like' button - yet clearly return each week to read my stuff! I am really genuinely puzzled by this. And, like you I absolutely cherish comments, feedback and connection for the same reasons. Thank you for your support (*blush*) and I too shall try not to take things too seriously xo

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Lani V. Cox's avatar

I think folks don’t want to sign up for another thing, another account, so they don’t ‘like’. As for the folks who are on Substack, who knows?

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Lou Blaser's avatar

Isn't it a great feeling to read an old something of yours and genuinely like what you've written! It's not at all the same thing, but I remember the first time I listened to an old podcast episode of mine and did not cringe or wish I could re-record. It took a long time and a lot of work to get to that point. I remember celebrating (and the number of downloads — which was low — didn't even matter). I love your voice and vibe. And I'm glad you're writing. 🤗

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Lani V. Cox's avatar

Thanks, Lou. I've been writing and rewriting this 'ol memoir for decades, so it felt like a big deal to finally accept what I've put down. Listening to your own voice on a podcast must be fun. I've always wanted to start one! Appreciate your kind words! xxoo

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Yi Xue's avatar

Well written Lani! I found myself wanting to say “Amen” to every point you listed!

Garnering Likes is intoxicating, I have to admit. But if that becomes what we are chasing then the real reason we are writing vanishes. Let’s be each other’s true writing partner to keep reminding ourselves of why we write in the first place.

Even the “deepest” and most meaningful text postings or shares on my FB or Instagram can’t compete with the sourdough I bake or my NiuNiu_the_blackcat photos 🤣!

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Sue Sutherland-Wood's avatar

Absolutely agree and love what you've said here - wise words, indeed.

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Lani V. Cox's avatar

This, Yi, was pretty damn good, "Garnering Likes is intoxicating, I have to admit. But if that becomes what we are chasing then the real reason we are writing vanishes. Let’s be each other’s true writing partner to keep reminding ourselves of why we write in the first place."

100% agree, and thanks so much, writing partner! ❤️

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Sue Sutherland-Wood's avatar

I also agree! I may have to write that quote down in my Special Commonplace Book!

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Claudia Kollschen's avatar

Keep writing and publishing, Lani! 🩷 I'm always looking forward to your newsletters. They are so interesting, so authentic, nobody else can write like you can!

I agree on "one appreciative reader makes my day". 🥰 It's not about the numbers, it's about connecting, about expressing your world and yourself and finding the right people who get you, who feel moved or inspired by your texts. It's so amazing when this happens.

Yep, I also stay away from any substacks telling me how to gain Substack fame and glory. I'm not here for marketing or anything, but for finally being myself, thank you very much.

I also unfollow people who constantly blare out on Notes how many subscribers they have. That doesn’t attract me at all, on the contrary, sorry. It's the writing, not the numbers. I've always been a letter person, not a number person. 😂

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Lani V. Cox's avatar

It's interesting what you've said about Notes. There was a time when I was silently wondering why a particular popular person kept sharing their numbers and compliments ~ it struck me as very 'look how amazing I am'. But it must work because lots of folks liked it.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for self-empowerment, but I also try to think about how this would read in real time, face to face life. Methinks I'm too old fashioned. 😂

And thank you for your words (letters 😂), I appreciate it! xo

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Claudia Kollschen's avatar

Yeah, it seems to be working, but I still don't like it. Maybe I'm too introverted for that kind of thing or just too old fashioned, too, who knows? 😂 I actually know people who do stuff like this in 'real life / face to face life', it's unsettling. 🤣

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Lani V. Cox's avatar

OH, my!

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Veronika Bond's avatar

Thank you so much for honouring my work, Lani! 💚🙏 🌱

I can't tell you how many times you have been the 'appreciative reader who made my day'... not to mention the regular occasions when you made my day by giving me the opportunity to be your appreciative reader!!! So thank you for all of those 🌸 🙏 🌺 🌸 🙏 🌺 🌸 🙏 🌺

Your lunch looks glorious, as good as your writing tastes, my friend.

(and I fully agree, any substack promising to tell me 'how to gain substack success, fame and fortune' goes into my virtual compost bin before reading any further)

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Lani V. Cox's avatar

Heh, heh. 🙂 It's pretty easy to honor your work because you're so talented.

And I'm glad to hear that we're reciprocating and supporting one another, because sometimes the world feels really dumb, so making heartfelt connections is everything! ❤️

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Veronika Bond's avatar

your work IS heartfelt, which makes connection easy, and all the difference in a world disconnected from the heart 💗🙏

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Lani V. Cox's avatar

🥰🥰🥰

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Shondra Bowie's avatar

We just had the best(i.e.) conversation. Reading this, I was like, "yep, me too!"

"the snake oil of Substack triumph and glory. Right now, I need to be my own gentle cheerleader." - indeed.

I Love Nick Drake, such a genius.

Your lunch looks delicious!

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Lani V. Cox's avatar

Thanks, Shondra. It's so nice to connect with other likeminded people! Not to be taken for granted in today's world. ❤️❤️❤️

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Shondra Bowie's avatar

Yep ❤️

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Lauca's avatar

Your lunch looks yummi 😋😋😋

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Lani V. Cox's avatar

It was, thanks! 😋

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Jan 25
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Lani V. Cox's avatar

Thanks, Maureen. ❤️

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