My relationship with time
tick tock goes the clock
In this series, I explore my relationship with things we consume like food and alcohol, and what defines us like money, music, and clothes. And by sharing my memories I hope it will encourage you to do the same, too. Bon appétit!
// In Thai culture, there’s this belief that what time you were born has some significance. For example, if you were born in the morning, you will be hardworking. In the evening, lazy, and in the afternoon, a balance of both.
// I was born at 12:30 pm, being the considerate baby that I was. And I’ve carried this “you before me” mentality until adulthood. Although, during her pregnancy Mom could only eat corn and durian, so I wasn’t like a saint or anything. It’s funny how corn is this cheap, but sweet vegetable, but durian is hella expensive, off-putting, and for highly distinguished tastebuds.
// Time stopped when I was five, when my aunt ran into the village and took my mom away. When I was left alone with my baby brother and strangers who didn’t speak English. And time continued to stand still while I waited outside a white building. Even when I was reunited with my mom in that hospital room with my dad under crisp white sheets, time held its breath.
// I suppose clock time started up again, but a part of me never moved forward from that moment. To say that I’ve been stuck there is an oversimplification. It’s more like I’m in a waiting room until I’m with my dad again.
// When I was in grade school, I didn’t own a clock or a watch. I woke up with the Hawaiian sun streaming through my sheer curtained windows. It was only when we moved to the Mojave Desert, to the Mainland, that I had to buy a bedside clock. I learned about Daylight Savings Time and winter weather.
// Without smart phones or devices, we kids went back home when the sun was starting to set. I can’t believe we used to look at the sky to tell the time. Can you believe it? That’s some Lord of the Flies shit right there.
// We used to have a beautiful grandfather clock in our living room with Roman numerals. The body had a glass door, so you could see the pendulum and weights.
// My mom was given my father’s watch and wedding ring after he passed. She gave his watch to my brother when he came of age. [It still works!] The watch held great significance to her, but what I considered precious were his collection of books.
// The nightly news hour, it turns out, is a bad, bad time to practice the piano as punctuated by our grumpy old neighbor who used to bang on the wall between our townhouses.
// Telling time in Thai is confusing, and native English speakers should avoid it at all costs, unless, of course, you are an English teacher in Thailand teasing your students about how infuriating telling time in Thai is, and how English is so much easier.
1pm is not 1 ‘o clock or 13.00 or anything closely related to this. Instead for 1pm to 3pm – the word baai (บ่าย) is used. Baai mo:hng is 1pm because – why not. Mo:hng does not mean one, but instead is the sound that was made in the temples by hitting a large gong.
So maybe baai mo:hng meant, hey, go hit the gong. But they’ve been hitting the gong all day, and it makes different sounds (different gongs) at different times of the day. You use baai mo:hng in this way only from 1pm to 3pm. And then from 4-6 pm, you say sii mo:hng yen, which makes sense because sii is the word for four and yen indicates the evening. But that’s it, because from 7pm to 11pm the word thoom (ทุ่ม) is used. 7pm is nueng thoom and nueng, my friends, means one! YAAAAYYY!
// I’ve chosen a life of freedom, a life outside of time. This might sound romantic, but since most of society runs within time, I’m viewed as a curiosity at best and a waste at worst. It helps to have a sense of humor. For example, when I’m asked, “Do you have children?” I can shutter or proclaim “God, no” with the kind of expression that makes people laugh.
// To live abroad is okay for a certain time. But to live outside of one’s home country for too long is seen as peculiar and even exasperating to those closest to you. Because being an American expat means when I go back to visit my home country, my life abroad is politely ignored. Folks don’t know how to categorize me, I guess. Or curiosity is not as ubiquitous as you might believe.
// To be ahead of one’s time is a tragedy, or a blessing depending on circumstances and how the collective agrees upon time. Vincent Van Gogh was ahead of his time, yet never reaped the benefits, or experienced the praise of his artwork, instead he was remembered as a crazy person. But we see the beauty and brilliance of his technique now.
“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.
"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
// We can become different people throughout time.
// During various times in my life, I cringe to think that is how I’m remembered. Which one is me? All or none? Does it matter?
// One day we adore a beloved comedian, and the next, the news reveals his wrongdoings. Yesterday, a man is young and strong diving into the surf, and the next he’s paralyzed from the neck down. One day, we’re single, and on the following, married. Today, she is a mother, reborn into a new person, her life defined by days, months, and years.
// Where do we live on this timeline? In the past, present, or future?
// I remember hearing a story about Peruvian miners, but I don’t know if that’s correct. What I know is the mine had collapsed and there were many of them stuck in the dark waiting for an eternity to be rescued. They decided on one person to be the time-keeper, maybe he was the only one who had a watch. In any case, the time-keeper announced an hour had gone by when in reality two had passed, or something like that. Everyone lived but the time-keeper.
// As a result, I don’t wear a watch or have a clock in my home. If I wake up in the middle of the night, I don’t look at the time. Don’t tell me the time unless I ask for it.
// To be stuck in time is considered amusing or unfortunate. If an older woman dresses too young. If an article of clothing appears too old-fashioned. Someone told me that you can tell what decade was the best for a particular person based on how they dress. And I’d add their hairstyle also lets you know what decade they identify with or liked best.
// The internet has changed our perception of time. My time is divided into screen time and non-screen time.
// Games become 10x more fun and exciting if you put a time limit on it.
// Some people go to work to kill time.
// Living a semi-nomadic life allows me mark the time, keep track of the years that slide fast, and before you know it, you’re old, older than you ever imagined yourself to be. But now I have neat chapters, this was the time I lived here or there.
// We live in the past, present, or the future depending on the time of day or our mood. It’s a little weird, this time traveling business, which is why writing helps me stay sane, I can reminisce, record, and get it out of my head. Get that time on paper…
What’s your relationship with time?
Oh Lani, such a beautiful post - and I learned so much about time and my own perception of it. Thank you.
I was very confused when I first lived in Germany - I was used to saying half-past two (or 'half two' for short) for 2.30, but in German 2.30 is 'halb drei' (half three, meaning 'half TO three'). It still confuses me now - so I have absolutely no idea how I'd cope with Thai time!
Fascinating post. Thank you!
What a beautiful post, Lani! The time that resonated/ hit home for me was the one when someone becomes stuck, and while time outside passes and years go by, they remain there, frozen.