Ugh. I read your essay with increasing level of frustration because I can relate to so much of what you referenced. Not the teaching part. Lord knows I don’t have the patience it requires. (Hats off to you). But the experiences some of us, Asian Americans, have in Asia. 3 yrs into my “living in the Philippines experiment”, I’ve gotten better with the language. But when I first arrived, I was told not to speak in English too much because it would look like I’m showing off. But that is how I communicate and my Tagalog was awfully rusty then that they also had a problem with it. But white Americans who are here do not have the same experience and their rudimentary attempt at speaking the local language gets applauded but I get frowned at!
Girl, girl, girl. I hear you! I think this is one of the small pleasures about being in Cambodia. I do not look Khmer, no one expects me to speak Khmer. Siem Reap is SO touristed they are used to everyone under the sun.
To be fair, I think it’s gotten a lot better in Thailand, but it probably greatly depends on where you’re at. And hats off to you for learning Tagalog ~ Do you still live in the Philippines?
Ooooo. Thank you for the question. The proper image of a female Waldorf teacher is one who is wearing a naturally dyed linen skirt and top. She’s wearing a silk scarf, also hand-dyed. Her shoes are sensible, maybe clogs, or Birkenstocks. She speaks softly, sings well, and gentle with the children.
That headshot is not standard. What they want is you in a suit or blazer, no smile with your hair tucked behind your ears. That was from a wedding because I was wearing makeup. Hahahahaha.
The line that stuck with me most is that schools weren't hiring someone to teach English, they were hiring the image they associate with English.
It's a strange kind of exclusion: not being seen as foreign enough to be exotic, or American enough to be "native," just caught in the gap between the two. The detail about your husband's colleague scaling the wall because he looked "too tanned and Chinese" says more about the absurdity of these assumptions than any argument could. Thank you for tracing this across so many countries and years without losing the humor in it.
Thanks, Ricky. It kind of feels like we have to retain some sort of humor or lose our minds in the process. Or become bitter! Tough things to fight against as we get older, etc. It’s actually taken awhile to realize this, consciously, and to make my “peace” with it. If I ever have to go through this again, I’m calling them out on it!
Totally agree. Humor feels like one of the few things we actually get to choose in situations that otherwise feel completely out of our hands. So much of it isn't something we can control, so I try not to let it take up more space in my head than it needs to. Easier said than done some days, but worth aiming for.
UGH I can really relate to this. I was at an International school and all the parents expressed concerns that because I didn't "look the part" I couldn't possibly teach the American school curriculum. Eventually I won them over when their kids kept talking about how much they've learned, but it's really insane how I felt I even had to do that. Whenever a parent wanted a tutor, they usually ask my white husband first (imagine me rolling my eyes)
It’s a strange phenomenon which no one seems to talk about. (I’ve never read anything like this) But I think it’s time that we stop overlooking the prejudices of a variety of cultures. We all have them. Now, let’s talk about them. Thanks, Sarah, for adding your story.
I've seen posts here and there, but it's more from teachers in the accredited international school circuit (not sure why tho). I remember teachers in South Korea teaching TEFL classes talking about salaries, and let's just say, your skin color dictates how much you get (insert eye roll here).
Thanks for the insights here Lani about your experiences and those of your husband’s about teaching experiences.
You’ve reminded me of when I was asked by a Chinese friend if I could tutor her son in English, who was around five at the time. Bear in mind that I am not a primary teacher and have never taught that age group, and I’m not an English teacher - I teach in English but it’s not the same! (Younger children terrify me.)
I know that I am coming at things from a different perspective (White, Western, privileged) but it showed me how some of the thinking about ‘expertise’ is ingrained culturally. I would have done an awful job teaching my friend’s son, but she saw me as an expert due my first language and likely because of the colour of my skin.
I think a lot of expats have similar experiences. You took the task seriously, so declined. For others, it's an opportunity to help out and "dabble" in teaching. With a lot of online platforms, and I'm not knocking them, they pretty much capitalize off of this reconceived notion.
However, and I can't believe I forgot this, during my short foray into online teaching on a popular platform, I was chosen (!!!) based on my video and headshot by adult students from around the world. It was flattering and fun.
Ugh yes, the number of people that I’ve encountered in Asia saying that they want to go into teaching, despite not having any experience or qualifications, or any motivation to actually go and obtain those things. I am knocking them haha! So, you’re white and speak English, those things do not necessarily mean that you can do the job.
But your experiences of online teaching for adults does sound fun! I’d feel far more comfortable teaching adults than young kids. Kids would eat me alive!
"Well, in Thailand, and much of the world, apparently, you are strongly expected to include a professional headshot, your age, and marital status on your resume."
Well, in China, I heard some employers would include height and weight on that list! 😅
My husband was horrified to find out that the Chinese would not give a new driver's license to anyone above 70 lol.
🤣My mom's 79 and the DMV scratches their head every time she aces the eye exam because she doesn't wear glasses, has never had corrective surgery and regularly drives late at night.
Thank you for sharing this, Lani. While working for the British Council I saw so many talented teachers who struggled at times because they "didn't look the part". The organisation came to champion the diversity of its teachers, but it could be a hard sell in some cultures. Another aspect of this was the championing of non-native speakers who were fully qualified and gifted teachers. They were some of the very best teachers, who tended to know the language better analytically than native speakers and knew more about the pitfalls of learning the language. But not all students accepted them as equal to native speakers.
That's interesting. At our school, Khmers teach the CP, YL, and lower GEP programs, but we suspect due to $$$ they are moving the Khmers up the ranks to higher levels. For better or worse, parents pay for a native speaker. But we also have a Ukrainian teacher, so it would be interesting to hear what her experience is. And I would agree, some know the language and the pitfalls better ~ Although I think if you have some experience struggling with another language you are able to understand. Thanks, Jeffrey. A complicated topic for sure!
"The irony, of course, is that language and ethnicity stopped being the same thing a long time ago. Yet what I actually bring into the classroom can’t be captured in a headshot."
And nationality, can I add. The classroom discussions. I remember a senior ESL student who was ethnically Vietnamese yet had grown up in China. He identified with being Chinese, much to the horror of his Vietnamese peers. He gave a sophisticated explanation about ethnicity and nationality and the cultural significance of language etc. It was so much better than anything I might have offered. Identity was often a subject in my ESL classes, (because they were the minority)and the kids would always ask me, "where do you really come from", so I always enjoyed drawing a bit of a family tree to show that I was in fact a "bitser: bit of this, bit of that ..." 😂
I have observed the same here. When I was teaching TESOL Methodology at Uni, we had many international students. Their first method was LOTE, and TESOL typically their sub. I watched schools baulk at these teacher candidates teaching English as part of their training in schools.
Thank you for sharing your experience, and the phots — they're fabulous and speak volumes to this, once upon a time, TESOL teacher. 🙏💖
Ah, now isn't that interesting about your Vietnamese student. And I'd argue that's what makes migration and these types of stories nuanced. This reminds me of my American Nepalese friend who grew up for some time in Japan, even adopted a Japanese nickname.
I would imagine through your teaching and work you've encountered all sorts of stories of these types and I'm glad you've held space and have been a witness. Thanks, Simone, as always! xo
So many stories and nuances, as you say. My research interest was NESB refugee students, negotiating their emerging multiple identities in a new country etc. Fascinating, unfortunately that project finished when l left the Uni. I am very grateful to have worked with such wonderful young people, they taught me so much. Your photos 😊🙏💖
Thank you for sharing these experiences, Lani! This is heartbreaking (and career-crushing). Who chooses a profession on the basis of their appearance? (unless you look like Bruce Lee and have the talent to match)
It is hard enough to do a good job in your chosen profession. Nobody needs additional obstacles like this thrown into their shins. This sounds like a form of racism not many talk about... maybe a variation on the adage that 'a prophet is not honoured in his hometown.'
It is also one of the challenges of being a 'Third Culture Kid'. We just don't fit in easily with people's expectations...
No, we don't, and I love that adage. I had never heard that one before! I don't want to be flippant about the whole thing, but I also don't want to pretend that it's been this BIGGER thing either. It's been a slow and steady drip and now that the bucket feels full, I get to pour it out. (If that makes any sense) I'm used to it, Veronika! That's the best way to put it!
That must have felt (and continues to feel) so frustrating! I'm glad you have turned it into such a valuable experience for yourself.
Someone's assumptions about me based on my appearance have been more or less a constant fixture in my life, as well, and it's usually unpleasant. Like when I was starting to work as a journalist and very few people would take me seriously because I was young and a woman.
Ah yes. I can imagine you are asked, "What are you?" many times over. And not being taken seriously because you're perceived as young (*raises hand*) is a very real thing. Thanks, Dinara.
Yesss! "Lani voiceover" feels right! Hahaha! You see for me, always the audio versions of your posts sound like you're leaning into the microphone with a raised eyebrow, laughing quietly, saying, you won’t believe this, but …
And this one holds your brilliant trademark writing of comedic truth too, with me snorting at the absurdity of being judged by a headshot alone ... when your whole (I repeat whole!) life has been lived in English!
There’s a wry comedy in how you’ve had to prove, again and again … that fluency isn’t something you borrow from your face but something you earn from your childhood, your culture and all those years under the American flag.
Oh how silly, exhausting, annoying! Idiots, the lot of them!
And yet what an amazing opportunity is is and has been ... to teach students more than language ... how you turn every classroom into a gentle plot twist, where assumptions come in loud and leave quietly corrected.
Thanks, Deborah. I was trying to think of another way to say that "I'm reading this, folks, this isn't a generic voice over" when it came to me! 😄I so appreciate that you enjoy them.
I was saying earlier, this was an essay that took its time, and when it did emerge, it surprised me because I didn't realize how much 'expectations' were being played out on both sides.
And thank you, it has been an opportunity. I have been told a few times, by the good people of Cambodia, that they are grateful to have me here. Those are nice moments. I enjoy my interactions with my students (mostly 🙃) first and foremost ~ administrations and all that red tape, not so much.
Ugh. I read your essay with increasing level of frustration because I can relate to so much of what you referenced. Not the teaching part. Lord knows I don’t have the patience it requires. (Hats off to you). But the experiences some of us, Asian Americans, have in Asia. 3 yrs into my “living in the Philippines experiment”, I’ve gotten better with the language. But when I first arrived, I was told not to speak in English too much because it would look like I’m showing off. But that is how I communicate and my Tagalog was awfully rusty then that they also had a problem with it. But white Americans who are here do not have the same experience and their rudimentary attempt at speaking the local language gets applauded but I get frowned at!
Girl, girl, girl. I hear you! I think this is one of the small pleasures about being in Cambodia. I do not look Khmer, no one expects me to speak Khmer. Siem Reap is SO touristed they are used to everyone under the sun.
To be fair, I think it’s gotten a lot better in Thailand, but it probably greatly depends on where you’re at. And hats off to you for learning Tagalog ~ Do you still live in the Philippines?
Okay, this begs the question: what is the proper "image" of a Waldorf teacher?
Ooooo. Thank you for the question. The proper image of a female Waldorf teacher is one who is wearing a naturally dyed linen skirt and top. She’s wearing a silk scarf, also hand-dyed. Her shoes are sensible, maybe clogs, or Birkenstocks. She speaks softly, sings well, and gentle with the children.
Excellent writing, infuriating story. Thank you
Thanks for stopping by, Prajna! 🙏
They should have hired you on the basis of that (amazing!) head shot alone! WOW!
So frustrating to hear all this. And I am not buying the French chef/Bruce Lee analogy either lol.
Thanks for sharing, Lani.
That headshot is not standard. What they want is you in a suit or blazer, no smile with your hair tucked behind your ears. That was from a wedding because I was wearing makeup. Hahahahaha.
The line that stuck with me most is that schools weren't hiring someone to teach English, they were hiring the image they associate with English.
It's a strange kind of exclusion: not being seen as foreign enough to be exotic, or American enough to be "native," just caught in the gap between the two. The detail about your husband's colleague scaling the wall because he looked "too tanned and Chinese" says more about the absurdity of these assumptions than any argument could. Thank you for tracing this across so many countries and years without losing the humor in it.
Thanks, Ricky. It kind of feels like we have to retain some sort of humor or lose our minds in the process. Or become bitter! Tough things to fight against as we get older, etc. It’s actually taken awhile to realize this, consciously, and to make my “peace” with it. If I ever have to go through this again, I’m calling them out on it!
Totally agree. Humor feels like one of the few things we actually get to choose in situations that otherwise feel completely out of our hands. So much of it isn't something we can control, so I try not to let it take up more space in my head than it needs to. Easier said than done some days, but worth aiming for.
Life can sometimes be confusing especially when people become blockheads.
😆😆
UGH I can really relate to this. I was at an International school and all the parents expressed concerns that because I didn't "look the part" I couldn't possibly teach the American school curriculum. Eventually I won them over when their kids kept talking about how much they've learned, but it's really insane how I felt I even had to do that. Whenever a parent wanted a tutor, they usually ask my white husband first (imagine me rolling my eyes)
It’s a strange phenomenon which no one seems to talk about. (I’ve never read anything like this) But I think it’s time that we stop overlooking the prejudices of a variety of cultures. We all have them. Now, let’s talk about them. Thanks, Sarah, for adding your story.
I've seen posts here and there, but it's more from teachers in the accredited international school circuit (not sure why tho). I remember teachers in South Korea teaching TEFL classes talking about salaries, and let's just say, your skin color dictates how much you get (insert eye roll here).
Thanks for the insights here Lani about your experiences and those of your husband’s about teaching experiences.
You’ve reminded me of when I was asked by a Chinese friend if I could tutor her son in English, who was around five at the time. Bear in mind that I am not a primary teacher and have never taught that age group, and I’m not an English teacher - I teach in English but it’s not the same! (Younger children terrify me.)
I know that I am coming at things from a different perspective (White, Western, privileged) but it showed me how some of the thinking about ‘expertise’ is ingrained culturally. I would have done an awful job teaching my friend’s son, but she saw me as an expert due my first language and likely because of the colour of my skin.
I think a lot of expats have similar experiences. You took the task seriously, so declined. For others, it's an opportunity to help out and "dabble" in teaching. With a lot of online platforms, and I'm not knocking them, they pretty much capitalize off of this reconceived notion.
However, and I can't believe I forgot this, during my short foray into online teaching on a popular platform, I was chosen (!!!) based on my video and headshot by adult students from around the world. It was flattering and fun.
Ugh yes, the number of people that I’ve encountered in Asia saying that they want to go into teaching, despite not having any experience or qualifications, or any motivation to actually go and obtain those things. I am knocking them haha! So, you’re white and speak English, those things do not necessarily mean that you can do the job.
But your experiences of online teaching for adults does sound fun! I’d feel far more comfortable teaching adults than young kids. Kids would eat me alive!
"Well, in Thailand, and much of the world, apparently, you are strongly expected to include a professional headshot, your age, and marital status on your resume."
Well, in China, I heard some employers would include height and weight on that list! 😅
My husband was horrified to find out that the Chinese would not give a new driver's license to anyone above 70 lol.
🤣My mom's 79 and the DMV scratches their head every time she aces the eye exam because she doesn't wear glasses, has never had corrective surgery and regularly drives late at night.
Height and weight!!!
😆
Thank you for sharing this, Lani. While working for the British Council I saw so many talented teachers who struggled at times because they "didn't look the part". The organisation came to champion the diversity of its teachers, but it could be a hard sell in some cultures. Another aspect of this was the championing of non-native speakers who were fully qualified and gifted teachers. They were some of the very best teachers, who tended to know the language better analytically than native speakers and knew more about the pitfalls of learning the language. But not all students accepted them as equal to native speakers.
That's interesting. At our school, Khmers teach the CP, YL, and lower GEP programs, but we suspect due to $$$ they are moving the Khmers up the ranks to higher levels. For better or worse, parents pay for a native speaker. But we also have a Ukrainian teacher, so it would be interesting to hear what her experience is. And I would agree, some know the language and the pitfalls better ~ Although I think if you have some experience struggling with another language you are able to understand. Thanks, Jeffrey. A complicated topic for sure!
I was once told that the reason I wasn't ready for a VP promotion was that I lacked "executive presence". It made me imagine a Western man in suits...
GAH! What a bullshit excuse!
That's messed up! People are flawed.
That's messed up! People are flawed.
Yeah, we all are. It's all a work in progress!
Hi Lani,
"The irony, of course, is that language and ethnicity stopped being the same thing a long time ago. Yet what I actually bring into the classroom can’t be captured in a headshot."
And nationality, can I add. The classroom discussions. I remember a senior ESL student who was ethnically Vietnamese yet had grown up in China. He identified with being Chinese, much to the horror of his Vietnamese peers. He gave a sophisticated explanation about ethnicity and nationality and the cultural significance of language etc. It was so much better than anything I might have offered. Identity was often a subject in my ESL classes, (because they were the minority)and the kids would always ask me, "where do you really come from", so I always enjoyed drawing a bit of a family tree to show that I was in fact a "bitser: bit of this, bit of that ..." 😂
I have observed the same here. When I was teaching TESOL Methodology at Uni, we had many international students. Their first method was LOTE, and TESOL typically their sub. I watched schools baulk at these teacher candidates teaching English as part of their training in schools.
Thank you for sharing your experience, and the phots — they're fabulous and speak volumes to this, once upon a time, TESOL teacher. 🙏💖
Ah, now isn't that interesting about your Vietnamese student. And I'd argue that's what makes migration and these types of stories nuanced. This reminds me of my American Nepalese friend who grew up for some time in Japan, even adopted a Japanese nickname.
I would imagine through your teaching and work you've encountered all sorts of stories of these types and I'm glad you've held space and have been a witness. Thanks, Simone, as always! xo
Bloody iPad kept saying it was tied out, hence the multiple sends and deletes of the same message🤣
So many stories and nuances, as you say. My research interest was NESB refugee students, negotiating their emerging multiple identities in a new country etc. Fascinating, unfortunately that project finished when l left the Uni. I am very grateful to have worked with such wonderful young people, they taught me so much. Your photos 😊🙏💖
Thank you for sharing these experiences, Lani! This is heartbreaking (and career-crushing). Who chooses a profession on the basis of their appearance? (unless you look like Bruce Lee and have the talent to match)
It is hard enough to do a good job in your chosen profession. Nobody needs additional obstacles like this thrown into their shins. This sounds like a form of racism not many talk about... maybe a variation on the adage that 'a prophet is not honoured in his hometown.'
It is also one of the challenges of being a 'Third Culture Kid'. We just don't fit in easily with people's expectations...
No, we don't, and I love that adage. I had never heard that one before! I don't want to be flippant about the whole thing, but I also don't want to pretend that it's been this BIGGER thing either. It's been a slow and steady drip and now that the bucket feels full, I get to pour it out. (If that makes any sense) I'm used to it, Veronika! That's the best way to put it!
That must have felt (and continues to feel) so frustrating! I'm glad you have turned it into such a valuable experience for yourself.
Someone's assumptions about me based on my appearance have been more or less a constant fixture in my life, as well, and it's usually unpleasant. Like when I was starting to work as a journalist and very few people would take me seriously because I was young and a woman.
Ah yes. I can imagine you are asked, "What are you?" many times over. And not being taken seriously because you're perceived as young (*raises hand*) is a very real thing. Thanks, Dinara.
Yesss! "Lani voiceover" feels right! Hahaha! You see for me, always the audio versions of your posts sound like you're leaning into the microphone with a raised eyebrow, laughing quietly, saying, you won’t believe this, but …
And this one holds your brilliant trademark writing of comedic truth too, with me snorting at the absurdity of being judged by a headshot alone ... when your whole (I repeat whole!) life has been lived in English!
There’s a wry comedy in how you’ve had to prove, again and again … that fluency isn’t something you borrow from your face but something you earn from your childhood, your culture and all those years under the American flag.
Oh how silly, exhausting, annoying! Idiots, the lot of them!
And yet what an amazing opportunity is is and has been ... to teach students more than language ... how you turn every classroom into a gentle plot twist, where assumptions come in loud and leave quietly corrected.
What an inspiration you are to so many! 🙏💖👏
Thanks, Deborah. I was trying to think of another way to say that "I'm reading this, folks, this isn't a generic voice over" when it came to me! 😄I so appreciate that you enjoy them.
I was saying earlier, this was an essay that took its time, and when it did emerge, it surprised me because I didn't realize how much 'expectations' were being played out on both sides.
And thank you, it has been an opportunity. I have been told a few times, by the good people of Cambodia, that they are grateful to have me here. Those are nice moments. I enjoy my interactions with my students (mostly 🙃) first and foremost ~ administrations and all that red tape, not so much.