I often think how frightening religion can be to children and how seldom that seems to be a concern for the oblivious adults. (Just one example here, having to watch speaking in tongues). Love the description of the many ways that you amused yourself in church, I was right there with you and have done the same! I feel like this chapter could be assigned in a Master's English class, e.g. use of symbolism etc. It's really good, Lani. Again, I found myself still thinking about it days later. My heart was breaking for both of you but especially for Larry, being young and so clearly grief-stricken.
Thanks, Sue. You are SOOO good for my ego. 😅 I never thought about how religion can be frightening to children. It was just this thing that the adults dragged us into, so I felt very much like a budding anthropologist observing it all. Isn't that funny. You're the best! xo
This is so engaging, Lani, but also tough. Family shisms and the loss of parents; they are hard to deal with and I admire your delicate balance between frankness and tact, with humour and pathos threaded through it all.
Hi Lani, I am really enjoying reading your story — your family's story. I can relate in so far as being a child observing the same odd, quirky and non-sensical (in a child's eye) trapping of our adult relatives and their friends etc. It must have been bewildering for you and your brother given the loss of your dad. Thank you for sharing.😊🙏💜
Thanks so much, Simone. It feels like another lifetime. For years, I wanted to publish this, but now, I’m glad I waited. Time and distance and how quickly our society has changed has given my childhood this otherworldly quality that I don’t think would have been there decades ago. xo
Losing a parent is the hardest thing for a child (even when that child is 59!). My heart goes out to Lani and Larry, in that hospital, on that flight, and in all the moments where longing and aching were buried in silence. <3
I am a Christian who doesn't know what happens after death. I do believe in heaven and hell, not in the afterlife, but on this earth, in this life. Does that make any sense? ;)
I think whenever anyone admits that they do not know the answers, they are being more honest, open, and profound than what is normally credited to them. Because right now, there’s a LOT of information with many people claiming to know the answers.
Does it make sense? Yes and no. These are deeper questions that deserve more space than we can possible give in this quick exchange. But I appreciate your words, Yi. Thank you for your wise words, and holding a space for us, xo
What a confusing, bewildering world you were thrown into, Lani! It sounds like the 'grownups' in your life who were supposed to look after you and your little brother, to protect and guide you, didn't have much of a clue how their behaviour and talking affect a young child, like you even had to do some of the protecting and guiding of little Larry yourself, at a very young age. Although it must be painful to revisit those memories, I imagine that this also sparks a sense of admiration and pride (in a good way) showing you how incredibly capable you were already as a very young 'big sister' who'd just lost her dad... and then her mum too in some ways (while mother was absorbed in her own grieving)
Thank you for sharing your story through the mystified eyes of the child 💗🙏
Thanks, Veronika. I’m glad that it read this way. Yes, there was a lot of growing up fast in those early days, but I know I’m not the only one. Perhaps this is why independence and freedom are some of the most important values in my life. But one of the things that I have to remind myself is that everyone was in the process of ‘growing up’ and that includes parental figures!
I often think how frightening religion can be to children and how seldom that seems to be a concern for the oblivious adults. (Just one example here, having to watch speaking in tongues). Love the description of the many ways that you amused yourself in church, I was right there with you and have done the same! I feel like this chapter could be assigned in a Master's English class, e.g. use of symbolism etc. It's really good, Lani. Again, I found myself still thinking about it days later. My heart was breaking for both of you but especially for Larry, being young and so clearly grief-stricken.
Thanks, Sue. You are SOOO good for my ego. 😅 I never thought about how religion can be frightening to children. It was just this thing that the adults dragged us into, so I felt very much like a budding anthropologist observing it all. Isn't that funny. You're the best! xo
This is so engaging, Lani, but also tough. Family shisms and the loss of parents; they are hard to deal with and I admire your delicate balance between frankness and tact, with humour and pathos threaded through it all.
Thanks, Jeffrey. Appreciate it. 😊 Writing it all down has interestingly made me contemplate everyone's perspective as best as I can.
Hi Lani, I am really enjoying reading your story — your family's story. I can relate in so far as being a child observing the same odd, quirky and non-sensical (in a child's eye) trapping of our adult relatives and their friends etc. It must have been bewildering for you and your brother given the loss of your dad. Thank you for sharing.😊🙏💜
Thanks so much, Simone. It feels like another lifetime. For years, I wanted to publish this, but now, I’m glad I waited. Time and distance and how quickly our society has changed has given my childhood this otherworldly quality that I don’t think would have been there decades ago. xo
It does have an otherwordly quality. I loved your grandmothers dress in the photo, that also took me back to the 1970s 😊
Losing a parent is the hardest thing for a child (even when that child is 59!). My heart goes out to Lani and Larry, in that hospital, on that flight, and in all the moments where longing and aching were buried in silence. <3
I am a Christian who doesn't know what happens after death. I do believe in heaven and hell, not in the afterlife, but on this earth, in this life. Does that make any sense? ;)
I think whenever anyone admits that they do not know the answers, they are being more honest, open, and profound than what is normally credited to them. Because right now, there’s a LOT of information with many people claiming to know the answers.
Does it make sense? Yes and no. These are deeper questions that deserve more space than we can possible give in this quick exchange. But I appreciate your words, Yi. Thank you for your wise words, and holding a space for us, xo
What a confusing, bewildering world you were thrown into, Lani! It sounds like the 'grownups' in your life who were supposed to look after you and your little brother, to protect and guide you, didn't have much of a clue how their behaviour and talking affect a young child, like you even had to do some of the protecting and guiding of little Larry yourself, at a very young age. Although it must be painful to revisit those memories, I imagine that this also sparks a sense of admiration and pride (in a good way) showing you how incredibly capable you were already as a very young 'big sister' who'd just lost her dad... and then her mum too in some ways (while mother was absorbed in her own grieving)
Thank you for sharing your story through the mystified eyes of the child 💗🙏
Thanks, Veronika. I’m glad that it read this way. Yes, there was a lot of growing up fast in those early days, but I know I’m not the only one. Perhaps this is why independence and freedom are some of the most important values in my life. But one of the things that I have to remind myself is that everyone was in the process of ‘growing up’ and that includes parental figures!
Super wise words.
Only one or not, it is still our individual unique subjective experience. The only one that has shaped us.
And yes, our parental figures were, in some ways in those days, less 'grown up' than some very young ones talk and behave nowadays
That’s a good way to put it. ❤️
We should all spend time contemplating the solidity of clouds…☁️
Heh, heh. ☁️☁️☁️ Thanks, A. xo