Hi Lani, I really enjoyed this post, As you can perhaps imagine, I feel lots of affinity with what it says. I really like what you say here: "I’ve become an anthropologist doing field work. I’m a participant and an observer." And great to see that lovely photo taken in Ingapirca, a place I remember well.
Thanks, Rebecca. I thought it was going to be an easy post, you know, after last week, something light, but it was challenging to choose photos and keep it short! 😲
I'm not totally convinced I could go overseas for years like you. I suspect having another American, ie. hubby helps a bit.
It's just I've lived and worked in 3 different provinces, where I did move to cities where I didn't know anyone for awhile. And to me, it can become more challenging making close friends as one ages. Light friendships are ok but they don't sustain deeply in times of major life-changing events and I've had enough of those so far.
Yes, you've nailed it, as it is rather challenging to pick up and start over. Friendships take on a different flavor as we get older, too. Communities are incredibly important. It's something that I think about. And yes, it does help greatly to have a partner. Thanks, Jean! ❤️
Great post Lani, and that last paragraph… having been out of the UK for over a decade, I see my home country in a completely different way. It’s something that I have been thinking about more and more of late.
Yes, that's a whole other post, right? I appreciate my American upbringing, the privileges my passport brings, but at the same time, I can be critical of my government. And it's been a real eye opener to understand how other countries struggle with their governments, too. In other words, I feel like I have a more balanced and nuanced view. Thanks, Sarah 🙏
Ha! Yes, it's crazy, amusing, actually, when I think about what I'm doing out here. It confuses my mom, but over time, perhaps it will make more sense. And here's to the next chapter!
I spent time in China for several months twice in my 20s. I think it helped me be less materialistic because I lived out of a tiny suitcase both times and saw how little I needed. I have so much clutter in the US 🥴 also I felt much safer in China - even late at night.
Yes, when we traveled to Thailand when I was sixteen, it was life-changing because I was old enough to recognize the cultural differences. And like you, it made me realize how "the other half" lives and it challenged my assumptions about how people live. Thanks!
Wonderful post, Lani! I can totally relate to lots of what you're describing, although my culture clash/ culture shock experiences were in very different countries. Like you, I've spent many years of my life in search of home, until I realised I can only find it within myself...
Growing up as Third Culture Kids has many perks, but lots of challenges too.
Now I am finding some semblance of home right here on substack with soul-sisters like you! 💙🙏
"Like you, I've spent many years of my life in search of home, until I realised I can only find it within myself..." YES! 100% This is why when I read about folks looking for belonging, I know it's a futile search. Even if you find your tribe, these things can be fleeting.
Third Culture Kids in itself is a fascinating topic. I would imagine there is a lot of overlap with growing up with an immigrant mom in an American household and living the life of an expat. Same same but different. 😂
🙌 And high-five to finding soul-sisters on Substack. Amen! 🙌
It's the mix of cultures, which never really mix. As a child you absorb all these different influences by osmosis. And then enter 'your own country/culture' somewhat later in life, thinking "finally I meet my tribe" – but then WHAM! It hits you. None of that tribe are really like you. Appearances are deceptive...
That's how I ended up in Portugal, with my British husband (who had never left his homeland before he met me, apart from brief holidays). And now we are 'proper expats' mixing with a crowd of other expats (including Portugese who've been expats elsewhere).
Ahhh, I wondered where you lived. It's a popular place, it seems, and I say this only because I know a few people who have moved there. I like getting to know you, Veronika. Cheers. 😊
Oh yes, the shores of Portugal are very popular (and increasingly expensive). But 'newcomers' are flocking to our area (Central Portugal) too. We now belong to the generation of 'settled pioneers' ~ having lived through 15 summers and survived our baptism of forest fire.
Hi Lani, I really enjoyed this post, As you can perhaps imagine, I feel lots of affinity with what it says. I really like what you say here: "I’ve become an anthropologist doing field work. I’m a participant and an observer." And great to see that lovely photo taken in Ingapirca, a place I remember well.
Thanks, Jeffrey. And thanks for the restack, too. High compliment from such a wordsmith as yourself. 🤩
Love it--the sentiments and the photos, all of it!
Thanks, Rebecca. I thought it was going to be an easy post, you know, after last week, something light, but it was challenging to choose photos and keep it short! 😲
I'm feeling the wanderlust, so it worked!
😘
Bravo Lani. It's been challenging enough for you.
I'm not totally convinced I could go overseas for years like you. I suspect having another American, ie. hubby helps a bit.
It's just I've lived and worked in 3 different provinces, where I did move to cities where I didn't know anyone for awhile. And to me, it can become more challenging making close friends as one ages. Light friendships are ok but they don't sustain deeply in times of major life-changing events and I've had enough of those so far.
Yes, you've nailed it, as it is rather challenging to pick up and start over. Friendships take on a different flavor as we get older, too. Communities are incredibly important. It's something that I think about. And yes, it does help greatly to have a partner. Thanks, Jean! ❤️
Great post Lani, and that last paragraph… having been out of the UK for over a decade, I see my home country in a completely different way. It’s something that I have been thinking about more and more of late.
Yes, that's a whole other post, right? I appreciate my American upbringing, the privileges my passport brings, but at the same time, I can be critical of my government. And it's been a real eye opener to understand how other countries struggle with their governments, too. In other words, I feel like I have a more balanced and nuanced view. Thanks, Sarah 🙏
Yes, I completely agree with you. My husband is American and he left the states in the same year I left the UK, and we met in Asia!
We both miss our home countries but also feel a bit disconnected too, and that evokes weird emotions at times.
Thanks for sharing this, it’s very honest 🙏
The first two chapters of my life is the reverse course of yours, Lani! Now I am wondering if there is a 3rd chapter in mine ... :)
Ha! Yes, it's crazy, amusing, actually, when I think about what I'm doing out here. It confuses my mom, but over time, perhaps it will make more sense. And here's to the next chapter!
I spent time in China for several months twice in my 20s. I think it helped me be less materialistic because I lived out of a tiny suitcase both times and saw how little I needed. I have so much clutter in the US 🥴 also I felt much safer in China - even late at night.
Yes, when we traveled to Thailand when I was sixteen, it was life-changing because I was old enough to recognize the cultural differences. And like you, it made me realize how "the other half" lives and it challenged my assumptions about how people live. Thanks!
So amazing! I can’t wait to hear more!
Awww, thanks, Alice. 🙏
Wonderful post, Lani! I can totally relate to lots of what you're describing, although my culture clash/ culture shock experiences were in very different countries. Like you, I've spent many years of my life in search of home, until I realised I can only find it within myself...
Growing up as Third Culture Kids has many perks, but lots of challenges too.
Now I am finding some semblance of home right here on substack with soul-sisters like you! 💙🙏
"Like you, I've spent many years of my life in search of home, until I realised I can only find it within myself..." YES! 100% This is why when I read about folks looking for belonging, I know it's a futile search. Even if you find your tribe, these things can be fleeting.
Third Culture Kids in itself is a fascinating topic. I would imagine there is a lot of overlap with growing up with an immigrant mom in an American household and living the life of an expat. Same same but different. 😂
🙌 And high-five to finding soul-sisters on Substack. Amen! 🙌
It's the mix of cultures, which never really mix. As a child you absorb all these different influences by osmosis. And then enter 'your own country/culture' somewhat later in life, thinking "finally I meet my tribe" – but then WHAM! It hits you. None of that tribe are really like you. Appearances are deceptive...
That's how I ended up in Portugal, with my British husband (who had never left his homeland before he met me, apart from brief holidays). And now we are 'proper expats' mixing with a crowd of other expats (including Portugese who've been expats elsewhere).
Ahhh, I wondered where you lived. It's a popular place, it seems, and I say this only because I know a few people who have moved there. I like getting to know you, Veronika. Cheers. 😊
Oh yes, the shores of Portugal are very popular (and increasingly expensive). But 'newcomers' are flocking to our area (Central Portugal) too. We now belong to the generation of 'settled pioneers' ~ having lived through 15 summers and survived our baptism of forest fire.